my drug is better than your drug

So you people with your "crack cocaine" and your "krystal meth" (yes, I know that's not how you spell meth) and your "roofies" think you are real cool, huh? You like shooting up your bennies and popping your fluffy, sticky, bud like it's going out of style don't cha?


I considered solving my problems with hard drugs, believe me, I thought about it long and hard. But I know my poison, and it works well for me. I find that overeating chocolate fudge pop tarts is both addictive AND tasty. How tasty is snorting blow? Not very, is it? Does it cause cavities? Sure you may end up snorting your septum in half, but is your midsection as flabby as mine? Do you have trouble fitting in YOUR pants? And thanks just the same, but I can act like an A-Hole 24/7 - drug free, my friend. I don't need "a couple of lines of booger sugar" to achieve that lack of social skills. And I'm saving money. Box of 12-count, Pop Tarts, approximately $4.23. You can't even buy a cheap bottle of wine for that. But if you do and then pair it with the Pop Tarts, your midsection could look EXACTLY like mine.


Why in the Fuquay-Varina (sorry NC joke) am I discussing this?



Because I just came from a GD kid's birthday party at effing Funigans (combine the tackiness of Bennigans with the grossness and chaos of Chuck E. Cheese and voila! *see below). And I had to take both of my children. Here are just a few highlights.

• whining about everything (them, not me - til later)

• an accident on the soft play course (one of those places you can't crawl up and get your kid out of) to be followed by me thinking I didn't have a clean spare pair of pants/underwear and blaming my husband in my mind only to find the SECOND time I walked out to my car in. the. pouring. rain. that they were there the whole time. Come back in to HUGE meltdown from youngest child (one of possibly thirty - not sure - I quit counting after 10). He didn't evidently want to accompany me and his brother back into the bathroom.

• come back out finally after outfit-change/clean-up and youngest child asks for coin to play one of those games with oversized hammer. I made the mistake of putting the coin in myself. We are in a "NO let ME do it!!!" mode lately, and he decides to hit me in the head with the oversized hammer. Yes, the cute, sweet-looking kid fromt the last post sporting a cowboy hat. He has a mean arm. My Claw was way out.

There are many other meltdowns, time-outs and general boring preschooler B.S. I will spare you from, but suffice it to say, as soon as I came home I cracked open a fresh, new box of Pop Tarts. And it felt good.

*please subtract fun before completing equation

obligatory cuteness, happy bday sesame street

So we like to play dress-up as soon as we are out of bed at my house. That is just how we roll. Today's characters were the Incredible Hulk and his sidekick, Cowboy Batman after his stomach stapling (thus the oversized duds).

I just read over at Erin's place that today is Sesame Streets' 40th bday. I loved/love Sesame Street. We received the first season on DVD as a gift to our sons a few years back and I bust it out often. If only to watch this. My absolute favorite skit/song from Sesame Street ever.

Here are a few other faves.


Feist on Sesame:

Michelle Obama and Elmo:

The man behind big bird and oscar:


HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SESAME STREET!

monday wants it, you want it, don't fight it give this week a big smooch

welcome to autumn, eff-heads

This made my year. Thanks to my lady, H-Dog, for turning me on to this little gem by Colin Nissan entitled IT'S DECORATIVE GOURD SEASON, MOTHERFUCKERS.

This is so up the alley I like to go chuckling down.

Whatever that meant.

most boring dream ever

I dreamed last night the most boring dream ever. I had to return something. It wasn't an easy return either, perhaps a receipt was missing, honestly, I can't remember. And then...the clencher...I had to use the bathroom.

What about flying through the air, amazing sex or even supernatural nightmares?

Nope, when I dream, I do errands and urinate.

Had any good dreams lately?

why don't you check out...

last night's party?

broadcast and the focus group?

or perhaps just peruse lamebook?

glamorous

glamorous. jesus lizard. carrboro show. last night.

a few shots

me and Laura, apparently right after I turned into a nearsighted muppet

me and David pre-show acting goofy.

our friend, Bill. Thanks for the beer!


the lizard



not sure what was going on with my camera, but I was liking it

monkey trick

yow and sims

yow



They rocked it. Video footage possibly to come, only have snippets of a few songs, but the sound was pretty good. So glad we drove to see them play.




The Lizard plays Atlanta tonight. If you can get there, by all means, get there.

jesus lizard carrboro

So despite all of you naysayers out there, we did it. LCP and me trucked it - or rather Saab station wagoned it to Carrboro to see my buddy, David, and the mighty Jesus Lizard. It has been a long time since I rock and/or rolled, and I can't think of a better band to go see reunite in all their glory in the name of all that is rawk. Certainly I was pleased it wasn't the reunion tour for say, Kajagoogoo or Creed.

I have pictures, and hopefully, video (if my GD computer let's me finish uploading) and more details to come. Now if I can just get my kids dressed and out the door in thirty minutes on about 4 hrs. of sleep that I'm functioning on, perhaps that post will come to fruition.

That is, after I nap for a minimum of two hours. Good night.

more foreshadowing of the rock to come

one of my favorite bass lines ever. i am so excited about tonight's show. i shall report back. whoo-hoo, rock and roll hootchy koo.